When do you give up?

At what point do you just give up? 20 years of hard work and a healthy lifestyle, only to be put into a hellhole and a fucked up body? I am only 51. People complain about being in lockdown for more than a month.I have been in a lockdown for 4 years. People say I am lazy, cause I do not work. I make 50 bucks a month doing book reviews. I have generalized anxiety disoder, arthritis, and some breathing issue. I live in a HUD low income apartment cause of it. Doctors in this crappy city will not even give me a breathing test, tho I had been diagnosed with COPD in a different city. They just say it is anxiety. I have had anxiety for 40 years, think I know what an attack feels like. But they will not even bother to give me a test? I guess if you have anxiety you can not have any other illnesses, and if you are poor, you do not deserve any help.

I get so tired of people, like the President, say I am lazy, cause I am poor. I can not tell you how many times I have applied for work. I was a cashier for over 20years, but thanks to arthritis I can not do that anymore. I apparently, can not write either. So, what kind of job can I do? I can not even blog properly. I wrote one this morning and it got all messed up somehow. So, I wasted an hour on that. I paid for the upgrade, hoping to start a business….but since I am a nobody on social media, I can not get any views or anything…

At what point do you just give up? How many rejections and humiliations can you take before calling it quits. I guess the universe wants me to be just wasted space, so wasted space is what I will be.

And before you ask, yes I did try for disability. I even had a lawyer. I got humiliated by their doctors, and instead of an apology, I was told that I could not get disability, cause I was not in a coma or dead. I rather be poor than go thru that crap again…and you want to know why their are so many angry people causing mayhem….

Seriously, what point do you just call it quits?

Please stay safe….my country has gone to crap…hope you live in a better country.

Peace, Renee

Published by Stardreamer

Thanks to poor health I am starting a new life. I love to read, blog, and write. I'm a witch starseed and a bi, and a huge geek.

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